It’s one of the biggest frustrations encountered in the dating world. You meet someone, there seems to be a connection…then poof! You never hear from them again. You are left with no closure, and no clue as to what happened. Here are the reasons women say they have gone poof in the past. Not one of them was proud at handling things this way, but here are their explanations as to why — they had to just disappear.

Reason Number One: She Met Someone Better
The harsh reality is that in the dating mix, oftentimes you can be seeing one person and then meet someone else who is just a better fit for you. If she suddenly stops returning your calls? She may have met another guy she digs more than you.

Reason Number Two: The Space Invader
Some women told us that they had to poof after being on dates with men who invaded their personal space way too much. In one particular situation, not only was the guy getting too close for comfort, but she also caught him trying to peer down her shirt…several times. She was so creeped out — she poofed.

Reason Number Three: She’s Afraid He’ll Ask Why
After a few dates, a woman decides she just isn’t into a guy. She contemplates telling him she’s done with their dating game, but is deathly afraid he will want to know what the reason is. So she poofs. Women told us they would rather disappear than tell a guy he was either too short, a bad kisser or had no aspirations!

Reason Number Four: He’s Boring
What is boring to one person might be riveting to another, but nonetheless, many women revealed that their reason for poofing was pure boredom.

Reason Number Five: Because He Won’t Get It
For some women, it was easier to poof than try to explain why it wouldn’t work out to a “clueless” guy. Rather than getting into a dramatic, drawn out conversation — they spare themselves and just fade away.

Reason Number Six: He Won’t Take It Well
Men love to talk about women’s “psycho potential.” Well, guys, there are a few of you out there as well that have the “flipping out” capacity. If a woman senses this may be the case, she will poof before telling you it’s over.

Reason Number Seven: She Can’t Deal With Confrontation
It’s not a great reason, but definitely a real one. Many women said they just hated these types of awkward conversations with men, so they avoid them all together. And yes, poof.

Reason Number Eight: The Bad Date
If you go out on a date with a woman and it goes horribly awry, don’t be surprised if you never hear back from her. Many women said that after one bad date, and zero chemistry, they didn’t feel obligated to return a call or text. Right or wrong, this is what was expressed.

Ladies, tell us why you have poofed on a date!

by eHarmony

Related posts:

1. Real Reasons Men Go ‘Poof’
2. Eight Reasons Women Fall Out of Love
3. Top Ten “Can’t Stands” for eHarmony Women

In all the years, after all the articles, these are the ten best bits of advice I’ve ever given to men who are out there dating women.

Get an Assessment from a Female Friend
Dating is one of those things that we’re supposed to be good at with no practice and no detailed feedback. We just know when it works or doesn’t. The easiest way to improve your dating skills is to take a female friend to lunch and talk her through your last date — your clothes, your venue choice, your conversation, your end of date approach. She will have opinions on all these things, and next time you’ll be better for it.

Do Whatever It Takes to Get Some Confidence
EVERY SINGLE WOMAN we’ve ever asked says that confidence is a deal-breaker when it comes to choosing a guy. If you don’t have it, you’ve got to go get some. It typically helps to practice just talking to women you don’t already know. (Join a meetup.com group, go, and be friendly.) But being really good at something that you can talk about is a shortcut to confidence. If you are a great snowboarder, she’ll sense your confidence as you talk about it.

Go Some Place You Feel Comfortable
Actor George Hamilton once wrote that when he goes to a new town he finds the nicest restaurant and pays a visit in the afternoon. He introduces himself to the maitre d’. He gives them his credit card and says, “Please take an imprint of this. I’ll be coming in several times over the next few days with various people. I’d like you to charge each meal, give yourself a 25% tip, and never bring me the bill.” Each night when he walks in with his friends the maitre d’ says, “Good evening Mr. Hamilton. Right this way to your table.” When dinner is done he tells his friends, “I’ve taken care of dinner,” and they get up and go. I know you’re not a movie star, but don’t lose the lesson. Whenever you can, date on familiar ground. You’ll feel much more comfortable.

Get Clear on The Red Flags That Matter
There are red flags that are annoying, and red flags that are Molotov cocktails waiting to burn your life down. Treat each accordingly. A beautiful and kind woman with an annoying laugh may be tough on a long car ride, but at least she thinks you’re funny. Issues involving honesty, money, substances, entitlement, and kindness should have you running for the door.

Think, At Least a Little, About What You Need
Who are you? What do you like? If you’re a sports junkie who has season tickets to the Celtics, do you want a woman who hates basketball and wants you home every night? Too many times men end up with women who don’t like the life they cherish. This happens for two reasons: 1)She’s on her best behavior. 2) He isn’t self-aware enough to say, “I can’t/won’t ever give up my love of the Celtics. You okay with that?” Yes, you have to compromise some, but get the important cards on the table early and stick to them.

Be the Best Version of Yourself
Chances are, you don’t need to be anybody else to attract a great girl. There’s someone who will love you. But you may very well need to be the best version of yourself to attract a woman. Dress nice, bathe, smell good, ask lots of questions, smile, laugh, exhibit a little knowledge about something interesting, and most importantly listen to her. Just smile, nod and listen.

Do a Couple of Little Chemistry Checks During the Night
Not sure how the date is going? Do a chemistry check. While you’re standing together waiting for a table, for example, lean into her a little bit (Be subtle!) and watch what she does. Does she lean away, or god forbid, step back? She’s not feeling it. If she lets you lean in or even leans into you, things are going quite well.

If You Don’t Want to Really Kiss Her Two Hours in…
…there’s probably no love connection. I know that it can take women two or three dates to feel chemistry. We don’t work that way. You should really want to kiss her, and if you don’t, it’s not a crime. Just be nice and enjoy the conversation.

Crazy Never Gets Any Better
You know that thing about red flags that can burn your life down. Crazy is #1 on the list. Run at the first whiff of crazy. Don’t make the classic mistake of thinking, “She’s beautiful. I can handle the crazy.” Trust me. You can’t handle it.

Don’t say “I’ll Call You.”
Just don’t. If you don’t want to call her, it’s a cheap lie. She might believe you and then feel bad when you don’t. Even if you do want to call her, telling her is meaningless. Just say, “I had a great time tonight.” It will make you stand out from the other Joes who say it as a matter of habit.

by eHarmony

Related posts:

1. Ten Best Dating Tips for Women
2. Online Dating Advice for Men

Mr. Flake
Meet Mr. Flake — the guy who promises you the world — and forgets to deliver. Coming in at #10 on our list, there’s something to be said for old reliable! Women love men who are consistent, steady and stable. Being unreliable and flaky is a huge letdown.

Lazy Bones
#9: Life is just too darn short to spend it as a couch potato or sleeping the day away. Women are looking for a partner who has some ambition, drive, passion and energy.

Just Say No…
Coming in at #8 are men that use any type of illegal drugs. The majority of women say this is a definite dealbreaker for them. Why? It’s wreckless, careless, unsafe and unappealing.

Old Yeller
#7: An angry person is a toxic person. Women can’t stand someone who yells, screams and loses control. If something is bothering you — handle it in a mature manner. Don’t bottle it up until it is too late for calm conversation.

Pigpen
#6: Cleanliness is next to Godliness! Just as men love to come home to a clean casa, women also love when men take pride in their homes and themselves. Just say yes to Mr. Clean!

Mr. Devious
#5: Like Mr. Yeller or Mr. Pigpen, Mr. Devious is the type of guy that will send ladies running for the hills. Who has time for that drama and negative energy?

No Cheaters Allowed
Coming in at #4, infidelity can wreck a relationship and cause tremendous pain. Needless to say, most women will not tolerate a cheater. Period.

Mr. Mean
The third biggest “can’t stand” is the mean guy. Belittling others, being rude or just plain hateful is a major turn-off.

The Opportunist
The runner up in top ten “can’t stands” — the opportunist. Women don’t like it when their partner takes advantage of or manipulates others. What they are looking for is someone who is honest, straightforward and respectful of others.

Liar, Liar
The #1 “Can’t Stand” for women — the liar. As trust is the foundation for a secure relationship, lying falls into the other end of the spectrum — and women especially can’t stand it when you are lying to them. This is the number one deal breaker, folks, so think twice before you consider being deceitful!

by eHarmony

Related posts:

1. Top Ten “Can’t Stands” for eHarmony Men
2. Why very intelligent men fail with women
3. Real Reasons Women Go ‘Poof’

The way to a woman’s heart may be as simple as listening, laughing and a sweet gesture. Here’s what the women we spoke with revealed…

He’s a Straight Shooter
He doesn’t adhere to the 3-day “no text, no call” rule. He tells you how he feels and what he is looking for. He may have game, but he doesn’t play it with you or in his dating life.

He’s a Helper
Whether it was coming to the rescue of someone stranded on the side of the road or helping grandpa John out with his moving sale, women told me they were extremely impressed by a helpful and selfless guy.

He can laugh – at himself
There’s a reason sense of humor is pretty much tops in the “must haves” for members of eHarmony. Life is too short to be so serious. A guy who can laugh at himself and the small stuff that goes awry is pretty amazing.

He Takes Initiative
It’s not super often that I hear about a guy planning a night out or an elaborate dinner for his lady. Women are extremely touched when men take the time to think up a great adventure for the two of them – and planning several weeks in advance is especially impressive!

The Small Stuff
He goes around the neighborhood and collects your favorite flowers, putting them in a lovely vase for you when you get home. Or he knows you have had a stressful day, so he brings over your favorite tea latte. It’s not about elaborate gifts for most women, but the thought that counts.

He Listens
This was a unanimous, across-the-board comment from the women I talked to. A guy who truly listens – and remembers – things you say or things you care about is a gem in our eyes!

His Ability to Let Go
Every couple has their arguments, and a guy who can say, “Hey, let’s move forward and not hold onto this,” is one that we are especially enamored with. It’s not easy for anyone to let go of anger or hurt and truly move on – but we appreciate a guy who can.

He’s Willing…
to try new restaurants, to see the occasional chick flick, or to accompany you on your big shopping spree (and carry your bags!). In return, we will watch the big game with him — or even visit Home Depot.

He takes care of himself
A guy who cares about all aspects of his being, including his physical and emotional health (and understands that those are important areas to tend to) is truly impressive.

He Understands
He may not totally get why you need to visit the hair salon every four weeks, but he doesn’t question it. He may not get why you feel the need to tell your best friend every detail of your outfit, or day, or whatever, but he accepts it. A guy who may not understand you, but lets you be who you are, is a gift.

by eHarmony

Related posts:

1. Ten Ways to Impress a Guy

Times have changed — and so have the rules regarding the biggest game of your life!

Be Familiar with Modern Modes of Communication
Speaking of texting, if you don’t do it, you might want to learn … fast. Especially if you are returning to the dating scene after a long haitus. Smartphones can make your romantic life a little easier and a lot more fun. And your dates are going to text you. If you don’t like it, let them know.

No More ‘Waiting Game’
It’s done. Dead. Over. Yes, we have now officially declared it … no more waiting “three days” after a date to contact your new love interest. We never liked that silly rule, anyways. If you had an amazing first date, text them the next day and let them know…

Be Careful What You Share Online…
Or at least be very aware of what you share online – especially in the social media arena. If you decide to show off the pics from a wild night on your Facebook page, remember that your potential dates might have access! Your friends know that you are an upstanding citizen, but a first impression by a stranger could lead to some wrong assumptions. Avoiding any “inebriated” tweeting is also highly recommended!

The World is Smaller Than Ever
Thanks to technology, we can all communicate more effectively than ever. You can have nearly- real conversations via things like Skype (great for long distance relationships) …

Do Not Assume Exclusivity
This may not be a brand “new rule,” but it is important enough that it made the cut. In this modern landscape of romance, there are more people multi-dating than ever. If you have been seeing a special someone for a few months and are assuming that they are only seeing you – it is a really good idea to check. Communicate your expectations and hopes and get on the same dating page.

Marriage is No Longer Always the Goal
The “old maid” stigma is long gone. Some couples are opting to have families, live together and share a life without tying the knot. Marriage is a beautiful thing, but a long-term, satisfying relationship equals happiness — and a perfect fit for many.

40 is the New 30
It’s not just Jennifer Aniston and Demi Moore who look amazing and decades younger than they actually are. We are all living longer these days, and in many cases aging alot more gracefully. Maybe it’s time to reconsider — and widen — your dating age parameters.

Gender Roles are Negotiable
Sometimes the woman wants to pay for a night out — and sometimes it’s the guy who stays home to raise the children. This means your old fashioned dating rules will have to be a little more flexible nowadays… and that is a wonderful thing. Embrace it!

Play Coy at Your Own Risk
People are busier than ever, and they have more opportunities to reach out to dating prospects than ever. This means if you like someone, you better let them know. The days of sitting around and pretending that you don’t really care in the hopes that your disdain will drive your suitor crazy are OVER.

Your Past is Always Present
Prepare to be Googled. Your dates are digging around in your past before they even shake your hand. If you were arrested 20 years ago at a protest, be prepared to talk about it. If your jazz group has a review in the local paper, your date may be humming one of your tunes. If your past is less than savory, be prepared to explain why you’ve changed.

Ethnic Barriers Matter Less Than Ever
In the past ethnic differences often meant other significant differences as well – differences in faith, geography, and cultural preferences. It is now more and more common for individuals to share these socio-economic institutions, independent of their ethnicity. The ethnicity of who you date is still an important personal preference, but it is less a fundamental of compatibility.

The Best Rule of All – Charm Matters More Than Ever
In a fast, casual, abbreviated world charm, grace, etiquette and consideration count more than ever. In times past, when manners and social graces were more common, it was assumed you would present a natural charm. But in the age of Tweets, a phone call makes a man seem like Sir Walter Raleigh. Make a point of holding to the best parts of the past – thank you notes, phone calls, thoughtful surprises, and other affectations of a gentler age.

by eHarmony

Related posts:

1. Dating Rules are Meant to be Broken
2. 5 Rules for Dating Your Boss

The Ten Reasons Why HIGHLY INTELLIGENT
Men Fail With Women… AND WHAT TO DO
ABOUT IT…
By David DeAngelo

I’ve been teaching men how to become more successful with women and dating for a several years now… and one “problem scenario” just keeps coming up OVER AND OVER… and OVER
and OVER and OVER again…

…and it’s really amazes me.

I’m going to refer to it as “The Genius Failure Paradox”.

“The Genius Failure Paradox” is the tendency for UNUSUALLY intelligent men to have very LOW levels of success with women and dating.

After contemplating this particular paradox, discussing it, and working on it for an awesome amount of time, I’d like to share my thoughts about it with you.

I assume that if you’ve read this far, then you see probably yourself as smarter than the average guy.

You know that you’re a little different than other guys.

You probably realized at a young age that you saw things differently, and thought differently than others in school…

And you’ve probably realized that your smart mind gives you an advantage over others in many areas of life…

Your smart mind gives you a particular type of advantage that can be very, very powerful in life: YOU’RE USUALLY RIGHT.

Smart people get used to being “right”, because they usually ARE right.

And when you’re RIGHT more often than others, you can get ahead in many situations.

But unfortunately, this smart mind of yours can actually be WORSE than USELESS when it comes to a key area of life:

WOMEN AND DATING.

By the way, I did say WORSE than useless.

It can actually be like having a hammer when you need to tighten a bolt. If you use the tool you have for the job, you’ll most likely make the situation WORSE.

Of course, it’s hard for a smart guy to even IMAGINE a situation where his smart mind could HURT his chances for success…

But trust me, this is one of those situations.

So relax, open your smart mind, and let me share with you the ten reasons why smart guys fail with women… and what to do about it.

REASON #1: THEY’RE WRONG, BUT THEY CAN’T
OR WON’T SEE IT OR ADMIT IT

I mentioned that smart guys are used to being RIGHT in most situations.

And what do most smart guys do when they come across a situation where they’re WRONG?

They find a new situation… one that fits their strength. They know they’ll be right next time, so they just walk away… knowing that it won’t be long before they’re right again.

(OR they let the “problem situation” destroy them… more on that later.)

Well, the BITCH about being wrong when it comes to women and dating is THERE’S NOWHERE TO RUN AND HIDE.

There’s no quick “I’m right” around the next corner to make you feel better.

It only takes “failing” with a few women in a row for a smart guy to see the pattern… and realize that something isn’t working.

Solution? Think harder.

A smart guy just assumes that his logic must be good… so he just keeps thinking harder.

But when no success comes, it really starts
to become mentally difficult.

Accepting that you’re wrong is a VERY hard thing for a “smart guy”.

Accepting that you’re not only wrong, but you have NO CLUE WHERE TO EVEN START is even more difficult.

Ultimately, many smart guys come up with the following logical conclusion:

I AM A SMART GUY, THEREFORE IF I CAN’T FIGURE OUT HOW TO BE SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN AND DATING, THEN THE PROBLEM MUST NOT BE SOLVABLE OR WORTH SOLVING.

Try that on for a self-defeating idea.

REASON #2: THEY’RE BLIND AND ARROGANT

In short, many smart guys refuse to accept that a good, solid, workable answer could come from someone “dumber” than them, so they discount any idea that comes from an “obviously less intelligent person” before trying it.

Let me ask you a question:

If you were going to be walking across Africa on foot, would you rather have your guide be the guy on this planet with the highest I.Q., or a caveman who lived a million years ago that had an I.Q. of about 50… but who grew up being chased by lions and all kinds of animals that wanted to eat him all his life?

It’s an interesting question.

Now, hopefully you’d like to have the guide who isn’t the smartest guy around… but who has escaped from many, many dangerous situations with deadly animals…

But now let me ask you:

If you’d like to learn how to be more successful with women and dating, would you take advice from a guy who isn’t very intelligent, but who knows how to attract women?

There’s something about being smart that makes some guys unwilling to accept input, ideas, or instruction from anyone who isn’t either as smart or smarter than them.

Well, any SMART GUY can see the folly in this particular approach… once it’s examined closely.

If you’ve been making this mistake, then you need to STOP IT. Stop being an arrogant bastard, and open your eyes.

Look around.

Learn from some “dumb” guys… and let them teach you how to get what you REALLY want.

REASON #3: POOR SOCIAL SKILLS

It BLOWS MY MIND how many smart guys I meet that just don’t GET IT when it comes to basic social skills.

It’s as if they have logically reasoned that social skills are for lower beings who need to play games… and not worth the time it would take to learn them.

In fact, I believe that there are a lot of
smart guys running around this planet who don’t
even have “social skills” and “be a cool guy that people like” in their “MENTAL MODEL” of what it could possibly take to be successful with women and dating.

Social skills are just that… SKILLS.

They’re not social INFORMATION.

They’re not social THEORIES.

They’re social SKILLS.

And you don’t get them by THINKING about them. You get them by GETTING them.

Excellent social skills are the foundation for good communication with other humans… and if you don’t have good social skills, you dramatically lower your chances for success with women.

REASON #4: THEY PSYCH THEMSELVES OUT

Smart guys do something that fascinates the hell out of me…

They come up with all the reasons why everything WON’T WORK when it comes to women and dating.

They actually figure out why what they would like to do will probably fail…

They use their amazing creative imaginations to imagine all kinds of horrible pictures and scenes… and then they use those imaginary outcomes to create negative emotions… which ultimately stop them from having success with women and dating.

THEY DON’T EVEN TRY.

Now, if you’ve thought something through and come up with a good reason why it would fail, it makes sense to not do it, right?

I mean, why would you want to do things that are going to fail?

It’s sound logic, but HORRIBLE thinking when it comes to the REAL WORLD… and success with women.

Because smart guys don’t UNDERSTAND women, and they don’t UNDERSTAND what it takes to be successful with women, they are working with bad figures. They’re wrong before they even start figuring!

Using your mind to come up with all the reasons why things won’t work in this area of your life leads to ULTIMATE FAILURE.

You must learn to overcome this habit if you have it.

REASON #5: THEY SEEK ONLY “INFORMATIONAL SOLUTIONS”

What does a smart guy do when he runs into a problem… or he needs to figure something out?

He looks for INFORMATION to help him solve the problem.

MORE INFORMATION is always the answer.

Information is the friend of a smart guy.

Got a strange virus on your computer? Just hop on the internet and search for how to eliminate it.

Don’t know how to change the alternator on your car? No prob. Just buy the manual and turn to page 147.

Don’t know the definition of a word? Open up your dictionary.

MORE INFORMATION solves the problem.

So what do smart guys do when it comes to overcoming a problem with women?

They want MORE INFORMATION.

They think the answer lies in learning just ONE MORE TECHNIQUE… or one more magic concept.

Well what if there were a situation in life where the “get more information” strategy actually made things WORSE?

How would you even know that it was making things worse?

Now, I don’t want to suggest that learning more about how to be successful with women is a bad thing. It’s not.

But if you have a problem that is EMOTIONAL or PHYSICAL in nature, then reading five million theories on it probably isn’t going to help you very much.

You need to get out in the real world and try some stuff!

You need to look at the REAL problem… the ROOT of the problem.

When it comes to women and dating, there’s a very good chance that you have MORE than enough “information”.

Smart guys often use “more information” to distract them from TAKING ACTION.

I’ve heard this referred to as “Creative Avoidance”.

Nod silently if you’ve ever figured out a creative way to avoid facing something in your life.

Good, thank you.

REASON #6: THEY FOCUS ON LOGIC INSTEAD OF EMOTION

NEWS JUST IN: Women don’t feel ATTRACTION for men who make them THINK.

Women feel ATTRACTION for men who make them FEEL.

So what do most smart guys do when they first meet a woman?

EXACTLY!

They get into a LOGICAL CONVERSATION.

I’m shaking my head right now…

Smart men try to engage women in LOGICAL conversations and interactions because that’s where THEY feel comfortable… not knowing that they’re SHOOTING THELSEVES IN THE FOOT by doing it!

Get this: A monkey sitting at a typewriter will type the collected works of Shakespeare before you will make a woman feel ATTRACTION for you by engaging her in logical conversation.

When you start a logical conversation with a woman you’ve just met, you are basically taking out a NEON SIGN that says “I don’t get it when it comes to women” and putting it on your head.

Typical “logical” conversations include talking about work, family, school, and jobs… discussing politics, religion, weather… and anything that has to do with math, science, or INTELLIGENCE.

On the other hand, if you start talking to a woman and you say “OK, so tell me something… Why is it that all women say that they want sweet, nice guys… but they all date sexy, selfish bad boys?” (and then make fun of any answer she gives) you’re having an EMOTIONAL conversation.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, keep reading. You need more help than I thought.

REASON #7: THEY’RE NOT USED TO THE CHALLENGE OF THE MOMENT

Smart people usually have time to THINK about things.

If you’re taking a test, you can sit there and work out the answers.

If you have a math problem, you can work on it until you’ve figured it out.

If you’re trying to fix something, you can keep working on it until it’s fixed.

Smart guys are used to being able to take at least a LITTLE bit of time to prepare and show off their “good sides” in most situations.

Not so with women…

If you don’t know what to do at every step along the way, you’ll be shut down very quickly.

Women have an AMAZING “He doesn’t get it” radar system.

Women have all kinds of subtle and ingenious tests that they throw at men to separate the “get its” from the “don’t get its”.

And if you don’t get it, then you’re going to fail one of these tests VERY quickly.

But the worst part is that you won’t ever KNOW that you were being tested… OR that you failed.

Smart guys aren’t used to dealing with complex EMOTIONAL and COMMUNICATION challenges in the moment… and especially the “women and dating” kind.

One of they keys to becoming more successful with women and dating is learning to handle all of the tests that women throw at you effortlessly.

But before you can learn how to deal with the tests, you must first learn how to communicate on an emotional level, how to demonstrate that you have fundamental social skills, and how to keep your cool in the moment.

REASON #8: THEY THINK THAT DOING “NICE” THINGS IS THE “SMART WAY”

OK, let me ask you a trick question:

If I told you that you were going to have a date with the supermodel of your choice, which of the following would you choose as a “smart” way of preparing:

1) Find out what her favorite type of flowers are, and show up with a dozen of them so she would be “wowed”.

2) Learn about her favorite travel destination so you could discuss it with her.

3) Find out what her favorite type of food is so you could take her to dinner… and she could see that you cared enough to choose something that she enjoyed.

OK, time’s up. Which did you choose?

Now, I already mentioned that this was a TRICK question.

The answer is NONE OF THE ABOVE.

But WHY?

These three options all seemed logical, right?

I mean, why WOULDN’T you want to show up with her favorite flowers?

Why WOULDN’T you want to talk about her favorite places to travel?

Why WOULDN’T you want to take her to eat her favorite foods so she enjoyed herself?

Go with me here…

Smart guys think that they’re being CLEVER when they do things like buying a woman her favorite flowers… and bringing them to the FIRST DATE.

Right?

In their minds, they’re thinking “I’m going to be the guy who is thinking ahead… and I’m going to show up with the flowers that I KNOW she loves… and she’s going to see them and like me more because of it”.

Makes sense… good math, right?

Well the one teensy-weensy mistake that these “smart” guys make is not realizing that it doesn’t actually take a smart person to think like this!

In fact, ANY jackass can figure out how to kiss a woman’s ass.

And guess what?

WOMEN KNOW THIS!

And guess what else?

EVERY WUSSBAG DOES THIS STUFF.

An intelligent guy, in his proud arrogance, will think he’s being such the charmer by using this “thoughtful” approach…

…and the woman he is chasing will interpret it as just another Wussy who’s trying to MANIPULATE her.

Ouch. Another blow to intelligence.

MISTAKE #9: ALWAYS NEEDING TO BE THE EXPERT

Have you ever met a smart guy who always needed to be “right”?

Have you ever met someone who would actually argue with you about something they knew nothing about… and make a fool of themselves because they just couldn’t shut their “smart mouths”?

Over the last few years helping guys improve their success with women, I see this one pattern over and over again…

Smart guys don’t like to be “beginners” at ANYTHING.

They don’t like the idea of screwing up… especially if others are watching.

They want to maintain this “smart guy” image of themselves… so they try to always be “The Expert” at whatever they do.

Instead of saying “Hey, you know what? I’m a beginner at this… how do I do it? What should I do first? What next?”… and instead of being totally OK with screwing up, making mistakes, and making a fool of themselves in front of others in order to LEARN…

…they won’t risk embarrassment, failure, or others thinking that they’re beginners… so they wind up ultimately FAILING.

MORE NEWS JUST IN: It’s OK to be a beginner.

MISTAKE #10: THEY CAN’T DEAL WITH FEAR AND OTHER EMOTIONS

A smart guy’s STRENGTH is his MIND.

His WEAKNESS is often his EMOTIONS.

Smart guys are often IMMOBILIZED by FEAR.

Totally stopped.

FROZEN.

And since many smart guys aren’t comfortable dealing with things they’re not good at, they just repress or RUN away from fear.

Many men would rather DIE in lonely isolation than admit that they don’t know how to deal with their emotions… or, GODFORBID, ask for help!

Hey, I went for YEARS like this.

I know what it’s like.

But the reality is that any guy can learn to handle and even MASTER his emotions (even fear)… if he just takes the time and effort to learn HOW to do it.

If this is you, then do yourself a big favor… take the time. Take the effort.

Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks of you… it doesn’t matter.

What matters is you doing the things that YOU need to do FOR YOU.

…I think the reason why I’m so fascinated with “The Genius Failure Paradox” is because I have had to struggle with all of these issues for a lot of years of my life.

Now, I’m not saying that I’m the smartest guy on the planet…

But I don’t think mamma raised no fool.

And it always bothered the hell out of me that even though I was so good at figuring things out, I couldn’t figure WOMEN out.

Something tells me that you know what I’m talking about.

Well, after beating my head against the wall for a few years… trying all kinds of crazy “logical” stuff… I finally got the “bright” idea to start studying guys who were “naturally” good with women.

Of course, I found out that you could be both NOT SMART, and VERY SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN at the same time.

I also learned that you can be SMART and VERY SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN too.

By carefully studying what the “naturals” did with women… and learning how they “thought” about the topic, I began to realize that success with women wasn’t entirely LOGICAL.

Much of what I learned was very tough for me to accept… because my logical brain just didn’t want to buy into it.

One thing I saw was guys pushing women away from them… and having the women then chase them in response.

Made no sense at all.

I saw guys tease beautiful women and make jokes about them to their faces… and then watched those women become “little girls” in response… unable to maintain their composure, and therefore unable to maintain their manipulative power…

It took me quite a long time, but I continued to learn, test, and refine what I was learning until I personally figured out how to approach women in any situation… get any woman’s number I wanted anytime I wanted… date any type of woman I wanted…

…and most importantly, GET RID of that “empty” feeling that I carried around my whole life because I didn’t know how to attract women.

And once I got this area of my own life together, I decided to help other guys get this area of THEIR lives together.

The ultimate result of all this time, effort, and energy is my free Dating Tips Newsletter.

And I’d like to invite you to sign up.

It’s free, there’s no obligation, I’ll never share your email address with anyone, and you can easily remove yourself anytime with no hassles (and no, I’ll never pull any of these tricks where I send you a bunch of unwanted junk email when you try to remove yourself).

Of course, it even gets better than that…

In addition to my free Dating Tips newsletter, I also have a killer downloadable eBook that you can download right now and be reading in literally MINUTES from right now.

It’s JAM PACKED with dozens and dozens of specific strategies for overcoming fear, approaching women, getting phone numbers and email address from women quickly, great inexpensive or even free date ideas, and how to take things to a “physical” level smoothly and easily.

To sign up for my free newsletter AND download your copy of my online eBook, just go here:

• Free Dating Tips Newsletter And Download eBook •

And I’ll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David DeAngelo

Related posts:

1. For Men: Five Fail-Proof Tips for Valentine’s Day
2. Top Ten “Can’t Stands” for eHarmony Women
3. Real Reasons Women Go ‘Poof’

Meeting in Public: Making a Safe Connection On or Off-line

Making the decision to meet a date in-person for the first time can be exciting. It’s also a great opportunity to revisit the common-sense practices that will give you the confidence and comfort you need to make sure your date goes off without a hitch.

Whenever you’re meeting someone new there are important guidelines to remember.

1. Meet in Public – Whether you have met a person on or off-line, never accept an offer to be picked up at your house and never agree to meet them at their house or hotel room. First dates should always be done in a public place such as a coffee house, amusement park, bowling alley or restaurant. Choose a spot that is quiet enough to get to know each other, but where there are plenty of people around in case you begin to feel uncomfortable.

2. Tell a Friend – It doesn’t matter if you are a man or a woman, always tell at least one friend or family member where you are going and who you are meeting. Set a time when you will call them to let them know you are home safely. It’s also a good idea to casually mention to your date that your friends know where you are and who you’re with.

3. Take Your Phone – This one seems obvious. Nowadays almost everyone carries a cell phone. Some daters ask a friend to call them during the date, just to check in. You can always ignore that call, but it does give you an opportunity to step away and have a quick word if you would like a break.

4. Stay Sober – The best first dates happen when two people really get to know each other in a relaxed setting. It’s a time for sharing, listening, and determining whether you two are a good fit. Because you want to be sharp and perceptive, it’s best to avoid alcohol on a first date. If you do plan to drink, make it in moderation.

5. Take your own Car – By taking your own transportation, you are free to leave the date whenever you feel ready. It also prevents a date from knowing too soon the physical place of your home or where you work. When driving, always keep quarters in your car for parking meters and carry cab fare in the event you have car trouble or don’t feel comfortable walking to your car.

6. Protect your personal information – Anytime you’re meeting someone new and out socializing in crowded public places it’s a good practice to watch your personal items. Never leave your credit card, purse, wallet or even your drink unattended while you slip away to the restroom or to make a phone call. If you plan to order another drink, wait until you return.

It’s also a good common-sense practice when talking with a new person to keep certain information to yourself. Details about your children, where you live, work, and bank are simply not appropriate, and, of course, any interest in these details should send up an immediate red flag.

Help Protect Yourself From ID Theft. Get help with LifeLock. Enroll Now.

Related posts:

1. Making the Best Out of a Long Distance Relationship
2. Relationships and Your Health: The Connection Defined

Dating Pitfalls Men Should Avoid

Author: Lily Eckhardt

That’s right, guys! There are answers out here for you too on how to make your relationship better and happier. So, if you feel like you are the perfect boyfriend, then just skim over these topics and see if anything matches up with your love life. I am confident that you will find at least one dating pitfall for a man that has affected your current or past relationships. Here, we will explore those little snafus and teach you a few things about how to handle your relationship issues differently.

Unable to Deal with Emotion

If you can’t handle it when your girlfriend cries, and you just try to silence her when she does, she may begin to feel like you don’t care. Because you do care, and you love her very much, it is important that you learn to deal with her emotional nature. Try talking to her instead of hushing her up. Ask her what’s going on and be genuinely interested in helping her come to a solution.

Calling her Crazy

Although sometimes it may feel like your girl is simply off her rocker, believe me, boys: it is the worst thing you can say. Do not call your girlfriend crazy, as for women; this is almost a direct order to act insane. We will be offended and hurt, and the way we can react will sometimes shock you. The better thing to do is approach your girlfriend about the real issue. Ask her what’s bothering her so much that it has affected her behavior. Find the root of the problem, and then you can fix it together.

Treating her Differently Around your Friends

You definitely don’t want to be mean or aloof with your date when your fiends are around. It may make you think your friends feel like you’re cool, but your date won’t put up with being treated that way for long. She is special, that’s why you picked her, remember? Let your friends know she is important to you. It will solidify her comfort in your relationship, and if your friends like you for you, they’ll want to respect your new date.

These are just a few dating pitfalls that men deal with. I hope you now feel a little bit more prepared to handle the little bumps in your love life.

About the Author:

Having trouble finding a first date? Need some guidance? As managing editor of TheFirstAndForeverLove.com,Lily is here to help you with first dating advice.

Related posts:

1. Dating Pitfalls Women Should Avoid
2. 8 First Date Conversations To Avoid
3. Ten Best Dating Tips for Men

Online Dating Advice for Men

Author: Robin Cockrell

The first impression is critical. Your picture is important. Make sure it is a close up and it is clear. If you choose to add other pictures to your profile, consider adding ones where you are doing something you enjoy. No pictures of pets, landscape scenes or other women, regardless if it’s you daughter, mother or aunt. Women are turned off by pictures of you with other women. One of the best tips for internet dating for men is have a picture. A close up and one full body is best. Also, please remeber we women are not as visually stimulated as you men are. We would prefer you keep your shirt on for now. We really do find that shallow and tacky.

Your words in your profile are very important. It would not help to do a reverse search and view the profiles of other men. By seeing profiles of other men you can get a good idea how to stand out above the others. 98% of male profiles start out with something like how honest, loving, sincere, hardworking and so on and so forth a man is. As opposed to what? Dishonest, hateful, deceitful and lazy? These qualities do not need to be pointed out. Your personality should shine in your online profile. She should be motivated by your words to learn more about you. Women are going to assume you are all of those thing, we sure hope so.

That first email is critical. I am a woman active on a dating site and I can’t tell you how many times I find myself rolling my eyes. A lot of men either send something lame like “Ya wanna chat?”, or “How are you”, or even a lame “hi”. This does nothing for me or any other woman for that matter. Then there are the men that enter our inboxes trying to sell themselves. I am this and I am that. I will treat you like a Queen. I will give you massages and candlelit dinners. Please spare us, we are not buying a car. We are looking for creative interesting men. Are you out there? A male online profile should pique our interest, not bore us to tears.

Online dating sites really are a great way to meet women. It is different than meeting in person. You have to relay a lot through words and there is no voice in the beginning or visual stimulus. Be careful with your words, it’s easy to misinterpret them online. That means one thing, it is up to you and the words you choose to make an impression and create an attraction. The goal is to get the woman inspired and create a desire in her to meet you.

About the Author:

I work with hundreds of women who are active on dating sites. I have been on several dating sites on and off for over 6 months and really feel a need to help the men increase their chances. I have seen or heard it all. I know what gets a woman’s attention creates atrraction. For more information and tips on online dating please visit my site. http://www.squidoo.com/onlinedatingguideformen

Here are some dating sites that you can check out:
Friend Finder
Chemistry.com
Christian Singles

Related posts:

1. Should I Be Embarrassed About Online Dating?
2. Ratings of Online Dating Sites: Quick & Easy Ways To Meet People
3. What onLine Dating Isn’t ..